The Plight (flight) of the Polymath (butterfly)

The other day I received a message on twitter that caused me to take pause and contemplate.   
"  (By the way), I thought I was a polymath.....you may have me beat. ;)  "


Now, I kinda knew what the word meant but I would in no way have ever held that perspective of self, so I stopped and looked up the word to make sure I understood what it meant, because, by my definition, he must have me confused with someone else who's a lot less disfunctional than I am. 

I often find myself stuck unable to decide what to do next.  About what?  About most anything.  It's not because I lack imagination or education, or resources.  It's not because I lack initiative. It's not because of fear of failure.  It's not because I'm depressed.  It's not because I'm lazy.  Although most of the time when I feel stuck, these things are exactly what I've been conditioned to think of myself, mostly due to being diagnosed as such throughout my life at one time or the other by well meaning grown ups who never really took the time to actually get inside my head.    Occasionally, I get up the gumption to get things done, and there's almost always some sort of measurable success. 

I have, in my lifetime an innumerable collection of these small successes.  But I have always put a lot more credit (or charge, as it were) towards the long periods of time in between them, when I was stuck in seemingly endless bouts of ruts asking myself "What to do, what to do?"  This has always made me feel like I lack direction... like I can't make up my mind who I am.... like a need to stop hopping around from one thing to the other and just choose something reasonable and stick to it.  But that's not who I am, so attempts to do this have always ended in disappointment and injury to my self esteem.   I used to dread anyone asking me what I do.  What should I tell them?  I'm a mother, I'm a volunteer at the pyrate's school, I'm a hobby gourmet...soon-to-be cookbook author and home cooking teacher, I'm a writer, I'm a vocalist, I'm a songwriter, I'm a blogger, I'm a former makeup artist, I'm a poet, I'm a bridge connecting many people, I'm a painter, I'm a crafter, I'm a business partner, I'm a supporter of the arts, I'm a wife, a daughter, a friend to many, I'm a motivator, I'm a teacher, I'm a truth seeker, I'm an entertainer.  Those are the things I am everyday.  On occasion, I am my family's hub, I am an activist, I am a therapist, I am a world traveler, I am a speaker of several languages, I am a healer, I am an employer...
I suppose I could go on and on if I think about it long enough.  Most of the time I don't think about it like this.  All I see is that over the last year I didn't accomplish any of my goals from the year before... except getting married... and that feels like failure on first pass to me when i'm in a rut.  I've been as hard on myself as those who would, in the past, judge me harshly without knowing me... almost as if I don't know myself.  All those things that I am... collectively they can feel very overwhelming if I hold myself to the high expectations in my head.  When I sort of finish something or it comes to a halt for some reason, I find myself unprepared with the next thing because I've dedicated my focus on doing the one thing with some sort of grand ambition.  Then all of a sudden that space in my head is wide open, and all the other things that I am come flooding in and I realize how many things I want to be doing, should be doing, have to be doing, in order to feel authentically me, but I'm overwhelmed.  I get so overwhelmed sometimes that I can't even think about it all.  I have to just be silent and pretend like I am none of those things... don't answer my phone, don't check my mail, just shut down and allow my mind to be silent and still until the feeling passes and I can pick something to focus on... It never occurred to me that it would be okay to just be them all at once.   That's the way it is to be multi-talented I suppose.... but I never really would have called myself this.  These many facets of me felt like indecision at best.  Most people, after all don't even understand what it means to have so many options so to them, I just look flighty.  It would be so much easier to just have one title. 

The newer stuff that I do is the hardest.  The music I make is good.  But I often feel like I cheated because I've not been doing it all my life.  I don't practice it for hours everyday til it's perfection.  I just do it, with some degree of organic movement and emotion.  It is an expression and not a science for me.  I expect to not get acclaim because I feel that there are so many others who work harder at it for a lot longer than I and they deserve to reap the benefits of their labor.  I can't even tell you how many times I walked into a room full of fellow artists and felt like I would be exposed for the impostor that I surely must be.  Because, how could I be a music artist AND all these other things? 



Then the other day, this message came, from a virtual stranger, a cyber friend, who doesn't know me from Joe Schmoe.   I thought to myself "Huh?  Polymath?  Me? Yeah, right... quit yankin' my chain bro."   That's what happens when you're a grown ass woman and someone pays you a compliment that seems to be a bit superfluous by definition.  You think your chain's gettin' yanked.  :) 


But I didn't respond right away because experience has also taught me to take a pause in moments like that and utilize my resources.  So I did just that and looked up the word.  Here is the wikipedia definition of the word.  Scroll over the little icon:

 Polymath






Now, in the first few lines of the definition, I was still convinced there was no application where this word related to me.  I'm certainly no expert at anything... at least not by my own allowance.  After all, there's an artist's rendition of Leonardo Da Vinci there as an illustration.  That's a lot to live up to.  lol..

But as I read on I began to see things in the definition that actually sound a lot like me... if I put aside those judgements ordained upon me in my youth and allow for a different perspective. 


I am a Renaissance (Wo)Man.  That information is quite empowering in this particular moment, when I've been having one of those periods of being stuck that seems to have gone on for almost 2 years now, since just after the release of my debut album.  Which if I allow myself to be honest about it, was a huge accomplishment.   Ever since, I've been bumbling around doing a little bit of this and then a little bit of that, but doing nothing with any significant amount of commitment because I felt ridiculous to do so.   The wedding planning distracted me for about 8 months, but that ended very quickly when all the festivities were over.  (Another hugely successful accomplishment considering it was mostly do-it-yourself styling and planning for 250 guests...)    But now, I think I realize, this is just who I am.  I have to just give my all, to all of it, in the best way I can, and be thankful for the multiple gifts that I may enjoy including never being forced to endure boredom. 



There comes time in ones life when one must rename themselves, redefine who they are, based on who they are, and put aside all of the externally projected judgments, labels, names, and definitions one trusts in one's youth.


There comes a time when you must either embrace yourself, in all that you are and celebrate or resign yourself to the misery of dissatisfaction with your life.  

I am a Polymath.   Like a butterfly, I may light upon many a different flower and that may seem like "flightiness" to some, but in truth, I pollinate each petal I light upon with life and love and in those visits the world is hopefully in a small way improved for myself and others and life is perpetuated.

I am a Renaissance (Wo)Man, and I am now aware of becoming enlightened to what I must do.  I must stop allowing myself to be overwhelmed with not meeting other people's expectations, and allow myself to just DO what I do,  the best I can do it... all of it... like...
my very own little symphony of ME.

This year's composition includes plans to write and produce a new cd, take a summer trip to Austria to visit the Austrian's parents, get my Cook 'n Dine sessions up and running, write a cookbook, perform live more, a trip to the UK in the fall for my cousin's wedding, the whole family getting scuba certification (which means classes and two dives), start brainstorming for the rock opera I want to write, work on some substantial health and wellness improvements, and somewhere in all of that make a baby! 
So I guess this year I'll just attempt to do it all with some astute choreography.  Let's see what happens.

Projects for Giving: Edible Gifts Finale!

We've got a few of these already packed gift boxes left, if you're local and would like to grab some up... let me know.  I'll let them go for $15 per box. 

Boxes purchased at www.nashvillwraps.com

A small booklet with recipes and suggestions for how to use the items included in the gift box.

I guess, my first cookbook.  Perhaps someday a collector's item??

 

Graphics by Andreas Adamec, thread bound paper bag books by Scrapbook Supply Outlet on ebay

 

Bubba's Rosemary Lemon Salt

(tins and jars in this posting purchased from www.specialtybottle.com , recycled paper tissue, and recycled paper ribbon all purchased at www.nashvillewraps.com )

BeeBee's Gourmet  Honey Mustard with Beer and Tarragon

The Pyrate's Ginger-Infused Honey

BeeBee's Gourmet  Honey Mustard with Sun-dried Tomatoes and Garlic


Christmas has passed now, and the new year is soon upon us!!  The Pyrate, the Austrian, and the Butterfly all wish you a happy New Year and all the best to you and yours!!!

Projects For Giving: Prep for Gourmet Mustard, Rosemary Salt, Ginger Honey Tea

Some of you have asked that I tell you what I'm doing for my holiday giving because you'd like to make along with us some of the things we'll be making.  So here's a brief summary of what we're doing.
I'm doing gourmet gift bags, filled with gourmet mustards, rosemary salt, Korean ginger honey tea, a recipe booklet, and other goodies to be determined... We'll be making around 50 of each item. Leftovers can be used by us, or given to people at other occasions such as a hostess gift when invited for dinner, or for no occasion at all, just to say "I love you!"
So we bought things in bulk.  Spices came from the Monterey Bay Spice Company.
We got our honey in 1 gallon containers from Miller's Honey.
You'll need jars.  I purchased my jars from the Specialty Bottle Co.  I used 8 oz jars for the mustard, 12 oz jars for the ginger honey tea, and I used 8 oz rectangular tins with clear hinged lids for the rosemary salt.

Then there's the packaging.  We've stopped using that cheesy, ink-laden holiday paper you can find in every drug store during this season, and opted for more eco friendly Andreas and I will make labels and tags for our items.  Some will be printed, some handwritten, on cardstock and attached with ribbon.  Other packaging will be recycled paper brown kraft wrapping paper, and recycled paper raffia ribbon that we got at Nashville Wraps.  This company carries a vast assortment of eco-friendly packaging and gift products.  I also get my reuseable green grocery bags here, 10 bags for about $6, and that's what i use instead of traditional gift bags. 

Everything you'll need (except for any fresh produce ingredients) can also be purchased in my Amazon Store.  Look for the section in my store that's titled Edible Giving.  I've set that up so that you can do one-stop shopping for everything you'll need.












Gourmet Mustard

Basically what we're doing is soaking mustard seeds for a day or so, then adding mustard paste made with the mustard powder (mustard flour) You'll get further instructions for this next week.  For now just collect your ingredients.
You will need to get some yellow or brown (depending on your preference) organic bulk mustard seeds and organic bulk mustard powder (mustard flour).
You'll also need to purchase whatever spices you want to add to it, and the day before you prepare this mustard, purchase whatever fresh herbs, horseradish, etc.  you'd like to mix in. 
If you want to make champagne mustard, you'll need to get some champagne vinegar.  Otherwise you'll need either cider vinegar, wine vinegar, or plain white vinegar.  About 1/4 cup for every cup of mustard you intend to have as end result.   If you want your mustard to be a brighter yellow you'll need a bit of turmeric as well.

Korean Ginger Honey Tea
You only need three things for this.  You need jars for however many you want to make, enough honey for however many jars you want to make, and the day before you're ready to make these, you'll need a generous amount of whole fresh ginger root.  Pretty darn simple.













Lemon Rosemary Salt

... if you thought things couldn't get any simpler, you'll need two things for this.   Lots of fresh organic rosemary, and sea salt.  You'll need both coarse and fine grain sea salts. 















That's pretty much it!!!
Check back in a few days when I've got all my ingredients ready and I'll have photos and instructions for how to make these gifts!

Giving a Tinker's Dam

 It's that time again.  The holidays are upon us and even though we should probably think about giving more frequently than just this once a year, it's a time to forgive yourself, revive the practice enthusiastically. 

If we go back to 1877, in the Practical Dictionary of Mechanics, Edward Knight puts forward this definition:

"Tinker's-dam - a wall of dough raised around a place which a plumber desires to flood with a coat of solder. The material can be but once used; being consequently thrown away as worthless."

This is a blog about worth and value in giving, but let me preface by saying that all of you out there who were planning on sending me an extravagant check in the mail as a holiday gift, I won't turn up my nose to it!  Don't you fret!!!  Just carry on with what you have planned!!! :)

In our house, over the last few months, I have quietly instituted a lifestyle evolution towards living a little cleaner, greener, and with more inner substance.  You won't find me doing any sort of massive conversion to some new extreme.  I am not interested in that.  There's something about extremes that just doesn't sit well with me.  I think if more people thought in terms of balance at the center of things,  instead of trying to right the boat by running frantically to the other end of the deck, the human race might even find a way to stay afloat.

So we've begun a whole slew of things... the Austrian is taking our master bath toilet apart this weekend because the water pressure in it hasn't been right in over a year, and we're wasting water with double flushes. (go ahead and breeze on by that mental image...) Long before the city ordained the new twice a week sprinkler allowance, we'd already cut back the watering of our garden and front lawn.   Last year, I stopped buying regular lightbulbs and started buying slightly more expensive, but longer lasting energy efficient bulbs.   We stopped using our air conditioning and heater except in cases where it was absolutely necessary...instead using ceiling fans, and alternately, extra blankets on the bed.   We stopped eating out so much, and the Austrian and I started visiting our local farmer's market every weekend.  I started reading labels on packaged foods, paying close attention to the ingredient hierarchy, and the ratio of the serving size to amounts of certain things like sugars, sodium, and saturated fats.  I've eliminated much of the prepared foods we were eating and replaced them with fresh foods prepared at home.  I don't even know why we were doing anything differently.  I am a hobby gourmet, and we were paying manufacturers to do things I can easily do at home, cheaper, tastier, and without a dramatic investment of time.  I eliminated the enormous amount of leftovers we were throwing in the trash due to our busy lifestyle, by purchasing disposable oven-safe, microwavable single serving containers and packing and freezing leftovers for the Austrian to take to work for his lunches.  The containers are made of recycled materials, and they are manufactured in a certified green factory and can be found in every Smart & Final store and most of those large outlets such as  Sam's Club and Costco.  I've had two yard sales this year, and gave away about 200 pounds of clothing to Goodwill.  We overhauled a small area in our home that was completely disfunctional and largely useless and turned it into a craft supply storage area... reducing the amount of clutter in my life by about 40%!
 

One of the greatest successes in the last year, (beside our eco-friendly self-produced wedding), was our christmas gift project.  I am being VERY generous when I use the word "our".   The boys were not really fully on board until the last weekend of production.

It might have been asking a bit much to get the Austrian, who I suspect to have borderline OCD, and the Pyrate who is probably sick of me and my big ideas, no matter how much he patronizes them.

But this stuff was not going to make itself!  We were on a tight budget, with wedding and trip to Mexico coming up in a few months, so we needed to use our creative resources and give in a very different way.

Once the guys got into it, they were very helpful and we were all very proud of what we'd done.  I spent 3 full weekends basically doing nothing but making the components of our christmas presents. We made several different things.The idea was to give things made with our own hands which had to be in some way useful.   We did some really cool stuff!
We made glass magnets decoupaged with art.

We decoupaged glass vases, framed mirrors, decorative platters, lazy susans, cigar boxes, and more.  I decoupaged wooden blocks and made block puzzles from images out of art magazines.  Grown-ups like to have them on the coffee table to fiddle with, and kids... well they love that there's 6 different images to puzzle together.


I made a beautiful jerk seasoning mix and layered the ingredients in the jar like a sand sculpture.  We made a seaweed mint footscrub, an oatmeal lavender milk bath, and little cones of individual cocoa mix and marshmallows.   Andreas designed customized labels for everything so that our gifts had a nice theme.

I purchased reusable grocery bags  and kraft paper (brown paper bag paper) for wrapping, from Nashville Wraps, an online company that sells gift packaging, including a huge and varied assortment of eco-friendly, recycled, re-useable products. 

We made our gifts, wrapped them in brown kraft paper, packed them in brown unbleached tissue paper, in reuseable grocery bags, and I can't remember the last time any gift I've given received such a response of gratefulness. 

NEWSFLASH:
People really like it when you do something thoughtful and actually give more than a tinker's dam instead of just going through the motions.  People actually get it when you've reached inside yourself and used your inner gifts for benevolence.

At a time when we probably should all be thinking more about how we spend our money... a time when we should be more conscious about how we consume... a time when we should be practicing less waste and more sustainable ways of living... getting creative in the way you give to others is the obvious move.  Not only is the gift more meaningful to the recipient, it is also profoundly good for your own mental, emotional, and yes, even physical health, to create and give.

So if you're a fantastic writer, write a short story and find self publisher online to print it, and give it as a gift.  If you're an artist, paint something and have copies printed, frame it and wrap it up in a bow.  You might think you're not very handy, or that you don't have the time, but those are excuses.  Giving is not giving if you don't get up off of something and give it.  Everybody has a talent for something.  If you're a handy household do-it-yourself-er, print up your favorite home improvement advice and anecdotes on nice paper, bound in a creative way and give it to all the homeowners in your life.  

If you write poetry, tell good jokes, bake great cakes, or even have great taste in music, there's super ways you can capitalize on your talent and use it for giving.   Frame a beautiful poem printed on parchment,  in an old frame and sign and number it.   Write a mini joke book.  Make a cake mix with all the dry ingredients for your most loved cake recipe and pack it up in a cellophane bag with instructions for what wet ingredients to add and how to bake it.   Make a list of must-have music and print it on card stock decorated with holiday regalia, add a personal note with holiday wishes and give it as a greeting card.
There are all kinds of great books out there if you want to try your hands at crafts.  You should, keep an open mind, don't start out too ambitious, don't get in over your head with something that will take months to finish.  And if you have many gifts to plan, don't choose something that you can't create in multiple fairly quickly.   

This year, we're going to step it up a notch with the edible goods, since I'm writing about food in my blogs.  I'm not completely committed yet to what all the goods will be, but there will be some sort of recipe booklet type inclusion, that, perhaps, I'll make available for sale after the holidays are over.

If you really feel that you just cannot create something, but you have a generous heart, that in itself is a talent!  Gather up some of  your friends and loved ones and plan a trip to your local rescue mission to serve a meal or deliver some cheer to children's ward at your local hospital.  Take books to read them, and boardgames to play.  This will be appreciated greatly by the staff and the patients alike!

You can find some really great books on crafting in my bookshelf in the right margin of the blog page.  All the books there are ones I have in my library and recommend!  So have fun, and remember to give from the heart!!!

All photos in this blog are taken by me, of items made by me, using recycled and re-purposed materials and cost very little money to make, but 3 weekends of my time, and a lot of love! 

Etsy-Cool! Shopping Etsy

handblown vase on Etsy.com

One of my recurring craft fantasies is that I will get it together enough to actually produce enough original craft items to sell them.   Recipients of my craft items tell me all the time... "You should be selling these."

They don't understand... a lot of heart goes into the one piece.  I don't know if I could put that much heart into duplicates of the same piece.  So I do something different every year.  This summer when we got back from wedding/honeymoon and settled back into home life, I discovered that I had so much arts and crafts paraphernalia that I needed an official craft storage area to organize it all.  I had a lot of stuff before the wedding, but after?  I had arts and crafts stuff all over the place!  It was swallowing me up.  So we dedicated an area downstairs in our house.  Tore out existing cabinetry, and spent a couple hundred dollars at Ikea to purchase a closet organizing system of shelves, drawers, pull-out baskets, and more.  I now officially have a craft supply storage area!!!  Woo-hoo!!

Perhaps this will help me to focus long enough to create at least some limited edition collections of items that I can sell.

Meanwhile, I know it's not the be-all-to-end-all, but I'm admiring the artisans on the wonderful website Etsy where people like me... (well, perhaps people a little more organized than I)... sell their artistic creations.

stained glass nightlight

Etsy is a fabulous place to look for one-of-a-kind gifts of all kinds.  I've bought everything from gold jewelry to custom-made stationary.  They've even got artists and crafters from all over the world who re-purpose, recycle, re-use to their hearts desire.   The art of re-purposing is a hot arena these days with being "green" or more eco-conscious is the popular trend of our times.

 sushi usb flash drive 2 GB

For our wedding, I made crepe paper flowers, inspired by ones I found for sale on Etsy.  I bought victorian style wrist cuffs to give my bridesmaids.  I've bought handmade hats to give as christmas presents, and there's so much more!!!  Pottery, Gothic fashion, unique holiday decorations, custom formal wear, office accessories, linens, custom period costumes, custom electronic accessories!  You name it you'll find it on Etsy.

leather macbook case

Yes, perhaps someday soon, I'll get it together, y'all... But where to start???

 

Rosie O'Donnell's custom Munny Sculptures!

What's really cool is that the prices are usually very reasonable since you are buying from the person who created the item you are purchasing.  This is great because you get great customer service from most vendors, and a much more personal story behind the items you purchase.  I love objects with a story.  Here are some of my favorite Etsy products for this week:

my friend in alaska makes these hand knit crowns...

wooden iPod case

custom made in YOUR size

blossom lace earrings

made-to-order iPod docking station

100% cotton handmade baby beanie

handmade picture frame