Send-A-Pyrate-To-Camp 2012 Fund

SO VERY much going on right now, my friends.... much of which I can't talk about yet because it would spoil the surprise.  But I'm working on a couple of things together with some newly discovered allies and... well, just you wait!!! You will be pleasantly surprised!


In the meantime, that kid of mine, The Pyrate, is doing thangs too!  This semester, which should have been his second semester of 8th grade, has been challenging for him because, he's been advanced to 9th grade after completing 8th grade in ONE SEMESTER!  9th grade has been more demanding of him in terms of organization, and we've had to go through some real exercises in self discipline and independance and learn some lessons in making decisions for the big picture instead of the little one.  He's doing really well.  Grades are great and he's chugging along.  For more on his fantastic school, check out K12 now!
We went to a college fair a month or so back and that alerted me to the fact that since he is accelerating through two years of school in one, I might want to ummmm.... perhaps facilitate the beginning motions of planning for college.  We started researching and have the beginnings of a solid list of schools that have solidly funded marine biology programs.  It's been fun and very exciting to start exploring each school and it's different pros and cons.  On his list are schools of every size and ranking... some state funded and some private, and a couple of the Ivy Leagues even.  He's been really gaining perspective about the big picture since we started that exploration.

During this exploring we looked at requirements and admissions strategies for both the state-run colleges and the Ivy Leagues so that we would be prepared with a well-rounded resume to be not only eligible for admission, but that the next 3 years represent him appropriately as a rockstar and what that means to the admissions officers at the different schools.  You can read about what I'm finding out on my notes tab on facebook.  It's interesting stuff.  Especially when it comes to the Ivies and their admissions process.  These days, you have many options... You can go straight down the middle or shoot for the stars and save the middle for your backup and, armed with the right information set out on a master plan to make your aims pay off.
One of the things the Pyrate is doing is applying to volunteer in his field of interest.  He will hopefully be accepted this summer to work as a volunteer docent at the Cabrillo Marine Aquarium's aquatic nursery and as a youth counselor at the Long Beach Marine Institute's summer camp.  He's also applied to begin the L.A. Zoo's youth docent program in the fall.  All of these are pretty exciting tidbits.
In the fall, he starts 10th grade with honors and ap courses and will take two courses at a local community college as well.  If this sounds like a lot, you don't know the Pyrate.  Today he finished his entire day's worth of school work by 11am.  This kid has the opposite problem from my own... he has TOO many hours in the day.  We are attempting to fill some of them with things he will enjoy, learn from, and build confidence socially.  His summer will be full with these adventures!
Can you believe we are already planning for next summer?  There are two summer programs he wants to apply to.  One is the Summer Institute for Gifted Learners... an academic program that takes place on the campuses of the countries top universities, and the kids stay for three weeks (!!) on campus, and attend academic classes in their subjects of interest and fun supplement classes to help them with different sorts of study and learning practices.  He is aiming to attend the program at UC Berkley next summer.
The second of the two programs is the Brown Environmental Leadership Lab in Rhode Island.  This two week program is right up the Pyrate's alley, as attendees will stay in tents right on the shores of a beautiful bay, and study issues related to the environment, shoreline ecosystems, and more!  It looks like a wonderful program.  We hope to send him to that one too!
These two camps are extremely expensive so we are establishing a fund to raise the tuition  and airfare to send the Pyrate to them.   If we get 50 people to donate $200 each (you could do a lump sum, or that's $20 a month...), we would be able to send him off on this voyage!  We invite you to participate via the link to the right in the column or visit the website we've set up for the purpose of raising funds.  All donors will receive a monthly newsletter directly from the Pyrate with updates on his fundraising progress, school work, summer volunteer adventures, and more.  And the best part is that you'll receive a personal and exclusive invitation to a donor appreciation/bon voyage party in May 2012.    Whatever amount you are able to donate is appreciated!
Well, I've got to get back to this secret stuff I'm cooking up over here.... My news is coming soon!!!!
Til then love and light... xoxoxo

Introducing SALUMAXIMUS: The Great Sea

Nothing makes me prouder than my kid.  He's the one thing I've been responsible for that I KNOW I'm doing the best I can, and that my best is pretty darn impressive!  I allow myself that even in those times when it feels like nothing else I do is right.  Part of raising this beautiful, brilliant child, has included nurturing his passions.  I've been nurturing his passions since he could demonstrate he had them.  Starting at about 3 or 4 years old when he would scream and holler bloody murder because he didn't want to get out of the tub without me reading the Little Fish book to him one. more. time.  "I'm a little fish, I like to get all wet, I have a little octopus, he's my little pet, we swim swim swim, we swim swim swim, we swim swim swim some more,  we swim swim swim, we swim swim swim, until we reach the shore!"  Every bath time he made me read that padded waterproof book at least 20 times.  It will forever be imprinted on my brain... every line, every picture.
He has been in love with water and marine life since at least that far back, and I made it a point to feed that love as often as possible.  It would not be far into his first years of elementary when he told me he wanted to be a marine biologist.  That seems like a million years ago....way back when we were members at the L.A. Zoo and the Long Beach Aquarium, and, yes, platinum card holders at Sea World San Diego and we milked those memberships for all they were worth and then some.  He had ocean themed birthday parties year after year, and as he got older they became Pyrate parties, because how many times can you really have whales and dolphins for a party before it starts to be uncool to your son and his friends?  We took vacations that were always near a body of water where we could snorkel and explore the ocean, including Puerto Vallarta, Florida, and the Bahamas.  We took a spring break road trip up the coast of California and visited every aquarium, marine life rescue center, marine life reserve, and university lab/aquarium we could find between L.A. and San Francisco.  One of the highlights of that trip was a beach near Santa Cruz where we walked 3 miles down a series of bluff and cliff trails to the ocean where and saw hundreds of enormous elephant seals basking on the beach in the sun.  A couple of years ago, for his birthday he requested a high school marine biology text book from a homeschool website, and marine specimens and a dissection kit from a science education website. We've been contributing to his personal library of books on related subjects since he began to use words.  He has swam with dolphins, manta rays, and 2 years ago we had the unforgettable opportunity to swim in the open waters of the Gulf of Mexico with Whale Sharks bigger than a large school bus! 
This year has been an exciting time for the Pyrate.  He's managed to complete a full year of 8th grade in a semester, and was advanced midyear to 9th grade.  By the fall he will be starting 10th grade, with almost all AP classes, and taking 2 courses at the local community college.  He's really excited and has the best kind of confidence building.... the kind you get when you work hard for something and finish it well and with acclaim.
Soon he will begin training to be a camp counselor at the Long Beach Marine Institute where he'll assist in teaching younger kids about the ocean, ecology, and marine life.  He has also applied for a position as a docent at the Cabrillo Aquarium in the Aquatic Nursery, and the youth volunteer program in the fall at the L.A. Zoo.  We've also begun the overwhelmingly complex business of college exploration.  So far there's a couple of Ivy League institutions, and one UC institution on his favorites list....oh yeah, (selective amnesia) and Alaska University of the Pacific.  And somewhere in the midst of all of that, he'll be taking his first ever scuba certification course and training.  A very exciting time indeed.  Which brings me to the purpose of this post...
The Pyrate has just launched SALUMAXIMUS: The Great Sea, a blog where he will share things he's doing, articles about marine life and ocean ecology, and anything else he feels like sharing related to the topic.  If you have a teen child, please share his blog with them.  But it's not just for teens.  The information he will be posting is interesting for people of all ages.  So check it out soon, and join us on this amazing ocean voyage!

's Been A Long Time, I Shouldn't-a Left You....

Well, well, well, look who's decided it's time to get these squeaky gears turning again over here!!!!  It's been at least 8 months since I last wrote you.  There's been much under foot.  I decided in the late spring of last year that I was completely over trying to make traditional schooling work for the Pyrate.  Between bullies, peers out of control, over populated classrooms, not up to par gifted student programs, and a complete lack of concern about any of these issues by school officials and staff, I'd had enough.  But what was most hurtful was the fact that I am raising a exceptionally gifted child who has the potential to be a prodigy and nobody seemed to care about what that means.  The Pyrate, bless his heart, has textbook characteristics for what is known about children who are highly gifted.  School work was easy and therefore frustrating, socializing was precarious because his mind works faster than most kids his age, and he needed special attention in the area of keeping organized.  He needed academic attention and consideration that he didn't get in public school OR previously the private schools he was in. He needed to be able to work at his own pace, doing curriculum that was both entertaining and challenging, he needed peers on his level so that he didn't feel the need to diminish himself to fit in, he needed more intensive guidance with organizational and study habits.  He was never going to discover his potential in a normal school.  So I signed him up to attend the California Virtual Academy.  It's an online California charter school based on the K12 virtual educational system.  K12 is a program built by the top scholars and researchers in the fields of cognitive learning and child development.   We started in September when the Pyrate started 8th grade.  I am happy to say that this was the best decision I have ever made as this child's mother.  It has changed his life tremendously.  At the end of the first semester, not only did he have straight A's, he'd finished an entire year of school... his entire 8th grade curriculum in one semester.  The school approved his early advancement to 9th grade, so he's now taking 9th grade classes and one 10th grade honors english because he took the 9th grade one in his 8th grade curriculum.  I have never seen him happier, and part of that is because he has been allowed a set of circumstances that give him the opportunity to truly see what he is capable of.  Instead of diminishing himself to fit in, he and his new friends challenge each other and goad each other to keep up with whoever is ahead.  I am able to work more intensively with him on issues regarding organization, and just as importantly he gets more direct guidance from me in regards to values I believe are necessary in becoming a young man.  It's a profound difference from what he got out of his former life where my only influence was in the evening hours and weekends.  Some are of the mind that he's missing something be not having the influence of a normal school.  Well, we tried that and he was miserable, bored, frustrated, exposed to things no child should be exposed to, and worse of all, had no idea how smart he was.  Now he knows and just that one thing has been enough to make him a happier teenager.  He'll be applying to join Mensa at some point this year, and the Johns Hopkins Center for Talented Youth, both whose members are children of phenomenal talent and academic ability.
That's what I've been up to.  It's been like a boot camp of sorts for both of us, getting used to how homeschooling works, learning to be his learning coach,  him learning to be more active in the planning and execution of his education.  It's been challenging and exciting and nowhere near as difficult as most people think it would be.  If you find that your child is having trouble in any way in normal school and you have the ability to school them at home, this program is available free of charge, as a charter in most larger cities in the US and the program is also available as a teach-on-your-own curriculum for purchase wherever you are.  They also have an international school as well .  Some US cities even have coops or flex facilities so your kid actually goes to a live facility to do their schooling through this same program.  If you think your child is too unruly for you to want to deal with them at home, I think you'll find that they behave much better at home than they do when you're not there... the one person who really cares, to keep them in check for real, like no teacher will ever do.  Check it out!
Other than homeschool, there's not much else to tell.  LOL  I've been deep in it for a good while.  My next blog is going to be about this doggone soup the Pyrate made for dinner last night.  Then the first part in a series on how to plan a special event party.  I will share step by step planning for my sister's wedding shower that takes place in May.  If you like to host guests in your home, you will like that a lot.
Music is on hold in the moment, perhaps some new stuff on the horizon soon... I'll keep that close to the vest til there's something substantial to tell.... xoxo

Domo Arigato Mister Obento

Well, I know I've been MIA lately, but you know how it is... The end of the school year, plus a bunch of other stuff going on in my home life and next thing you know the time flies by and I haven't written a thing!!

At least not here!
One of the things I'm working on is bit by bit piecing together my very first cookbook.  It will be a tribute to my family heritage, which mixes the cuisines and traditions of several cultures, and includes organically grown, (often homegrown) foods.
I'm having fun with the introductory outline which tells about my childhood memories of road trips to grandma's house fully equipped with picnic basket in tow and  my other grandmother's home garden which provided the vegetables for the entire family for most of each year. I know that the stories and recipes from this project will resonate with many of you.   Stay tunes for further updates on that project!
In the spring, I made the careful decision to terminate the Pyrate's public school attendance and homeschool him as of the fall this year.  I spent several weeks contemplating this decision, researching our options and the possible consequences.  Several disturbing events over the last two years brought enough alarm to my mind that in some ways I almost felt there is no other choice.  I worried about the social implications for the Pyrate, however, the social implications if he stays in the environment he has been in will no question be catastrophic.  Then two things happened.  We have found a fantastic virtual academy that will suit his needs as an individual, with teachers, personalized lessons, access to college courses in high school, and so much more that a kid like mine will shine thorugh like a super nova!  I can't wait.  I believe every child deserves to have this kind of opportunity.  I showed this program to my son, and he loves it, and can't wait to get started.  I started the enrollment process, had several conversations with families already doing this, and started collecting the proper documents... That was the second thing.  I had to retrieve documentation of the Pyrate's status for California's Gifted and Talented student program.   It's one thing to know you have a brilliant child.  It is quite another to hold in your hand documentation that measures said brilliance.  He's documented to have scored within the top 3 percentile FOR THE NATION all of the last three years in a row on standardized and specialized testing for skills and mastery in math, language arts, and science.  When we got this documentation the other day, we sat together staring at it as I explained it to him.  We sat staring at it silently.  I watched his eyes, wide and almost in disbelief.  I asked him what he was thinking.   "I'm thinking I can't wait to be out of regular public school, mom.  It's killing my reputation!"
So that was it.  I completed his enrollment and we're waiting for the curriculum to get here like kids wait for Christmas morning.  Meanwhile I'm getting myself accustomed to being the learning coach.  He'll have teachers online, but I still have to supervise and coach on the home front, plan his schedule, come up with creative ways to experience the world as it pertains to his studies.  This will be fun, so long as I properly prepare.  I'm taking the time to attend lectures and recorded speaker series on how to do all of this.
If you too are discouraged with trusting your child's education to a public system that is more damaging than it is productive, check out homeschooling.  It's not what it used to be.  You can still get certified to teach your own children if you like. But now there are virtual schools with experienced teachers who are excited, inspiring, creative, and give their students one on one attention.  There are virtual schools where most work is done online and the curriculum is more effective than what is available in public schools.  Virtual schools offer personalized instruction based on mastery.  That means if the Pyrate can pass a lesson's assessment, he can skip all of the lesson activities in that lesson and move to the next lesson.  He can accelerate in this way, to the next grade level mid year if applicable, and in high school can take classes that are worth college credit.  We can set his study schedule to fit his personal rhythm, and include outside experiences that enrich his learning in ways he would never get in regular public schools.  And here's the killer!  Most of these virtual academies are set up like charter schools, publicly funded, and free to those who are within the district that funds them.  Not only is it tuition free, they provide all curriculum materials, and loaner computers as well for free.  All you have to provide is an adult to supervise 5-6 hours a day, and regular school supplies such and notebooks and paper, etc.
A great example is the K12 program with academies nationwide.  Check it out for yourself.

The third thing I'm up to is fun, fun, fun!!  I'm learning about the art of Bento!  This is a traditional Japanese practice that involves artfully arranged meals packed in compact boxes that are usually transportable.  We are going to use the art of Obento (the respectful way to refer to the art) as a fun and entertaining way to institute healthy eating habits into our everyday life.  I've been educating myself and preparing to make it a part of our family's nutritional life.  You'll be finding recipes and photo records of this little gastro-artistic adventure posted here in my blog in the very near future.  Should you want to join me, I recommend these two blogs as reference material and  inspiration:  www.justbento.com  and  www.lunchinabox.net 

See you here again very soon when I've got my bento boxes, chopsticks and a couple of recipes under my belt... this stuff is no joke!!

The Pyrate Turns 13

So, on this past Friday, the Pyrate turned 13... I am officially the mother of a teenager.  Wow.  There have been moments over this last year when he spoke to me and that newly acquired deep toned voice shocked me... made me feel pangs of longing for the squeak I was so accustomed to.  But as life would have it, things do indeed change... My son, sweet, kind, funny, patient, and super-smart... is becoming a young man, facial hair and all.  Yikes.  

We spent the entire weekend celebrating with family and friends, starting with Friday evening.  I made his cake during the day... an organic creation: vanilla cake with bavarian cream and fresh strawberry filling, with buttercream frosting and a skater dude theme, made from scratch and decorated by hand, like I do every year!  (recipe will come in a later posting this week) 

The cake was a big hit when presented at the end of dinner!   I know there'll come a day in the near future when I won't be able to do this for him because he'll be off somewhere on an ocean somewhere saving a shark or something... so I'm enjoying these times while I still have them...

The evening's dinner celebration included 35 family members and close friends, and both the Pyrate and I were so moved by how many showed up.  The chain of tables the restaurant put together was so long you had to either call via phone or actually get up and walk to the other end to talk to someone there.  We had good food, lots of laughs and fun all around. 

The night was highlighted by the Pyrate reading a speech he wrote about coming of age, and his views of his life past, present, and future.   I've included it below because it was too loud in the restaurant for the people at the other end of the table to actually hear what he was saying, and also there are others who couldn't be there who the Pyrate would love to share this speech with.  So at the end of this post is that speech.  My son, he amazes me... to no end, how thoughtful and conscious he is.   

That night, three of his closest friends slept over and we got up early the next morning and went to a really cool skate park where we met up with the Pyrates cousins.  We spent the whole day there!  I made sandwiches:  turkey/avocado/spinach, curry chicken salad, and salami/sopressato with cherry preserves vinaigrette, (all recipes coming later this week) on artisan breads bought at a local bakery the day before... organic kettle chips, kashi chocolate chip cookies, and a fruit punch I made from cranberry juice, cherry juice, and fresh squeezed lemons. (recipes later this week). 

The boys had a ball, skating their butts off.  It was interesting to watch them overcome their fears and try tricks they hadn't tried before, and how they supported each other, cheering each other on, making sure no one got left behind.  Very impressive.  I am blessed that my son has such cool friends as these young men. 

All in all, it was a fantastic day!  The sun was shining, there was a gentle breeze, the spring flowers were blooming... The grown ups played frisbee and entertained each other with silly jokes.  I think I might be doing a few more picnics during the warm seasons this year... I had a lot of fun!  That is, until the gangsta squirrels decided to eat our precious leftover birthday cake!!!!!  ARRRRGH!

So, that's how it was.  I survived this better than I thought I would.  I only cried once, and that was out of the pride swelling up inside me as the Pyrate read his speech at dinner.   Another birthday past.  The weekend was over... his friends gone home...  back to life... open house at school tonight.... 

Meanwhile, the Pyrate's coming of age speech :

Maxim Abraham-Klaus Feltus Adamec Recke

    March 19, 1997. Appx. time: 13:00 Pacific Time. I was born. I am the child of Brigette Ruenette Feltus and Andre Recke. This was the beginning of my life. My mother’s cultural history, African American and Native American in heritage, dates back several generations here in America… the last two here in Los Angees.  My father’s story is new to this country, since he moved here just before I was born, and he grew up in a small town in the country side of Bavaria, Germany.    I think that I represent the American part of my heritage more than my German side, one of the largest reasons being that I live in the U.S., so I do not speak much German. I haven’t spent much time there, so I don’t know much about the rest of the German culture.
    I was born into a family filled with creative people. I have relatives that have a myriad of professions, from muralists to singers in bands. My mother was the latter of the two, was also once a makeup artist and hairstylist, then a singer/songwriter, and soon an author of her own cookbook!  My father is a manager in the music industry, where he has helped many artists to go after their dreams, and he is also a very good bass guitarist.  My grandparents are also artistic.  My granny plays piano, writes music, and teaches young people to play.  My paw paw is an amazing cartoonist, sculptor, and landscape architect.  Both of my great grandmothers were creative, one played piano, and was a sought after seamstress, the other a poet and writer.  Even my Opa in Germany is pretty crafty with his hands, having made many of the toys my dad played with as a boy… My family’s creativity encourages me to express my talent like the rest of my relatives. It was inevitable that I would be a very creative person. I love music, art, and science. I wish to create and advance the worlds of all three someday.  I am on my way now in my everyday life while I draw, practice guitar and saxophone, and study the field of marine biology.
    I think that I have some good qualities as a human being. I can see from many different points of view, yet I have a mind of my own and can think for myself. I also think that I am very intelligent and a fast learner. I think that I am fun to be around. I want to be honest, too, but sometimes I worry about what people will think of me if I tell the truth.
    I wish to be the one that doesn’t blend in, the one that doesn’t bend to the seeming force of peer pressure. I want be original, authentically me.  I want to do the best that I can, even though sometimes I don’t show it. But now that I look back on my mistakes, most of them could have been avoided. And I don’t want to be the one who had a lot of potential, but never gets anywhere. I believe that that would be a sin.

I love many things. I love my mother, my father, my stepfather and my stepmom Andreas and Shauney, my family, my best friends. I love the ocean, and everything in it. I have no idea why I love the ocean so much. I guess it’s one of those things that is just branded into your brain. I guess it might be because the ocean is the closest thing to pure life and harmony that we can get here on this planet.  I think it’s interesting that we know more about outerspace than we do about something on our own planet, the ocean.  Most of the earth’s organisms live in the ocean, including a lot of the oxygen producing plants on earth.  I plan to explore these things for the rest of my life.
I love my parents. They have stuck with me through hard times, especially my mother. I think its because she knows what its like to grow up mostly without a father in her home. She has always taken care of me, making sure to raise me right. She is always there when I’m feeling down. I love my mom.  I love my dad too.  He’s a really good person, fun to be around, and he works hard  so that I can have a good life.  I love my dad.
     I believe in many things. I believe in peace on earth, and an end to world hunger. I also believe that some religions do not truly grasp the entire concept of the universe, and teach everyone that if it isn’t mentioned in whatever holy book that religion might follow, its not possible. What about the flight of man? A few hundred years ago, Christians thought that the flight of man was blasphemy and anyone who tried to achieve this feat was a devil-worshipper. But now that we have planes, we all know that the church isn’t right about everything. I do believe in God, but I do not believe anything about  the corrupt aspects of any organized religion.
  
Today is just the beginning of another chapter in my life. It will be hard sometimes, but I want to make it through with a smile on my face. I want to be that kid who stood out, the one who refused to give in to negativity. I believe that I will succeed in changing the world, in some substantial way.
When I get older, I want to change the world. I want to try and open peoples’ eyes to pollution and the fact that the human race will cease to exist if we continue on this path of destruction, along with the rest of our fellow organisms. There are many living things suffering in the world. I also want to help to save the ones who need help. I want to be a part of the revolution that changes how people think about the earth in general forever.
    I owe the fact that I have such a good life to a lot of people. For example, my teachers and my whole gigantic family. They are the reason that I am who I am today, even though I might think they are just giving me a hard time. I know I’ll look back and thank them all. So I’m just gonna get it over with now while I have the chance.  Thanks to all of you and those who are not here for all the ways you have made my life a good one so far.  I am blessed and I thank God for you all.
My mom always reminds me that today, already while I’m still very young, I can already make a difference by setting an example with my friends, by being kind, helpful, productive, and thoughtful.  Sometimes it’s not easy to be all those things, especially when you come int contact with so many people not trying to be those things.  But I try anyway.  It’s challenging because there’s a price for all of this.  I often stand out like a sore thumb and kids sometimes make fun of me.  But I just try to remember what everyone who really matters tells me… No one can define who I am, but me.  There is a poem by William Ernest Henley called Invictus.  My mom shared it with me recently.  Apparently Nelson Mandela would recite this poem daily to himself when he was all those years in prison work camps.  Maybe this will help me like it helped him to remember that I am the captain of my own destiny. 

Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Where's My Compton Sweatshirt? (the mother diaries)

sorry to those of you who won't understand the intra-ethnic nuances of this post... and to those who don't know me, i promise you that i will only go gangsta to protect my child.  i promise.   wouldn't you?


SO, the pyrate had a run-in with some fellow african-american boys at his very suburban middle-class neighborhood school last week before break started.   they approached him aggressively and got in his face and wanted to fight him.  for no reason, and despite the fact that they are all about a foot shorter than him, and none quite as fit.

well... a few weeks earlier they were taunting him and saying he "wasn't black".   yeah.   the pyrate is of african, native american, and german decent, and has a private school education the first 6 years of his school career.  he listens the most to bands like deathcab for cutie, rage against the machine, nirvana, and nine inch nails and lately he's stuck on playing leadbelly songs on his guitar... repeatedly.  he's also a science buff, a skater, and a bit of an afro-punk.  this gets him a lot of grief in public school.

 so, anyway, these kids walked up on him.  he had a few choice words (of the intelligent sort... rattled off the names of some very impactful people of african decent that they could not identify and then asked them who wasn't black...) then kept walking.  so last week, they took it further and walked up on him and got in his face. the pyrate says they were close enough that he could feel their breath.   he told them he was not going to fight them and walked away.   they yelled after him a bunch of epithets varying from white boy, b*tch, p***y, and other things.  he kept walking.  these boys are all smaller than him and he could have easily taken out a couple quickly and then scared the others enough to leave him alone, but he walked away... like a shaolin monk.  lol...

later that day, in the gym locker room, they watched and waited as he was changing clothes for gym class, and as he was pulling his gym shirt over his head one of them hit him very hard open handed in the center of his back... hard enough to leave a mark.  the others broke into laughter as he winced then shouted at them to never touch him again.  then he finished changing and walked away... like Dr. King, Jesus or Gandhi would.   he is not traumatized this time because he thinks their motivation is ignorant.  (he's been raised with a strong education about who he is ethnically... so that's much easier for him to deflect emotionally than say... being called gay.)

anyway,  the incidents have been reported, but the proper school authorities were already gone for the day when i was able to report it.  i'm proud of my son.  he's a much more confident and courageous kid than i was at his age... or than he was a few months ago.   we had actually had a good laugh about whether or not he thinks of himself as black.  he raised his 12 year old fist and grinned at me with the biggest nerdy grin.   i said, "say it loud!"  the pyrate said, "i am black and i am proud."  just like that... no conjugations like james brown did it.  like the black nerd scientist, afro-german, punk-pyrate, skater boy that he is.   so all is well.  i plan to be very proactive day one back to school after the break with the proper school authorities.  perhaps a conference with the kids parents, and i will press for middle school version of justice.  so all is well.  no trauma.

excuse me a moment. (but if a muthaf*cka EVER lays a hand on my son again... little wanna-be gangsta suburban fools might get to meet his momma who is straight outta COMPTON.  the pyrate's people roll DEEP! )  BWaaaaahaaaaaaa!!!    
*Not really, ....but I'm just sayin'....


i am the type to love a good rant when it's appropriate.  i could rant thoroughly about this issue and the surrounding issues of race relations within a culture.  you see this world wide, and not just with african americans.  but there is a very deep seeded culture of tension between different so-call groups of african americans... based on the color of skin, texture of hair, economic status, etc... that dates back to the times of slavery when the slaves were divided depending on whether they worked in the house or in the field.  they were pitted against each other in many very subversive ways.  

it infuriates me when the prejudice goes on in either direction, from either side.  it is all hate and has nothing to do with solving whatever is really bothering those who are hating.    but you would think in this day and age this would be all but just an memory of attitudes of the past.  obvioiusly not, when 12 year olds are taunting each other with such ethnically slanted crap.   then there's the association between so-called affluence and sexual orientation which is completely unrational and makes no sense at all.   we should be teaching our children wisdom and not hatred.  but where are our wise men and women???  when i discover them, i keep them near, use them as role models with my child. 

i have a lot of connection to what the pyrate experienced with these boys.   something similar happened to me as a kid and i didn't shake it until my mid to late twenties.   the trauma can run deep.  children... most children have self images that are still forming in their middle school years.  the behavior of these boys says a lot about the climate of the schools nowadays and of the homes that children come from.  it is dangerous behavior that can scar for life.

so, knowing what i know, i added that last bit in parentheses because parents who teach their kids to hate, to judge, to label, to bully, to insult, to be violent, to be angry, to be anti-social, need to know how the parents of your children's victims feel when they find out your child is committing crimes agains their child.


woe to you and your children.  woe to you, because your child might slip up and behave this way with a kid whose parents are NOT as civilized as i am....  who are not as much of anti-violence hippie as i am...  they might slip up and attack a kid who, unbeknownst to them has also been brought up in hateful violent environments who was taught that to kick some idiot ass if anybody messes with them.  they might slip up and attack a child who is already fragile and injure them in any of a myriad of ways, unfolding an onslaught of charges against your child and you, that will force you to reconsider the error of your ways.

these boys will face any of a series of possible punishments when they return to school in january... the school has a no tolerance policy and have expelled kids for being in a group observing one from the group attacking a victim... and on their record (the kids in the group... spectators who were with the attacker) goes a charge of gang violence because of the group intimidation element.  

so, woe to those parents... and if you're not sure if your children are happy, well adjusted, self-respecting and respectful of others, then maybe you need to get to know your children better, or woe to you as well....

Give a Pyrate a Camera and...

All photos in this post were taken by the Pyrate, under the supervision of Alina Wallace.

"The Chicken", our Gargoyle Gecko Up Close

 

 

"The Chicken" part two. 

   

Praying Mantis Sees His Reflection

 

 African Head

 

Great, Great Aunt Beulah's copies of Little Women and Little Men, Sequined Butterfly, and Incense Burner

God-Papa Richard's Chopped Wood

Doogamajiggit

 

Bamboo

 

...Another Man's Trash

Plantlife 1

Plantlife 2

 

Plantlife 3

 

Byrd of Paradise

Plantlife 4

Along Came a Spider 1

Along Came a Spider 2

Along Came a Spider 3

Along Came a Spider 4

Along Came a Spider 5

 Plantlife 5

Love Is Fragile For a 12 Year Old Pyrate

 

Faces have been concealed to protect the skinny jeans...and the innocent.

It was his first love.  They met in the 6th grade... a place where no child feels sure of  him/her self.  A sea of preteen turmoil, hormones, insecurity, and the looming launch into the pre-adult years.

He was a good kid... a smart kid.  She... a smart kid too.  They both liked skinny jeans.  She had beautiful big brown eyes.... and they had that underlying nerd syndrome in common.

It was a rainy day when he called me just before the last bell rang, and he asked if one of his friends could come over and work on an animation project together with him because we have a wacom tablet.   I said that would be fine and that I was on my way to pick him and his friend up, and that they should be in the designated rendezvous location in the next 3 minutes.

When I arrived, there was no one in the designated rendezvous location.   My eyes scanned the lawn... full of angst filled preteens.   Through the chaos I saw him walking my way... carrying two backpacks instead of one... and to his left, walking alongside him, was his friend.  She had long, dark brown hair, with bleached tips, black skinny jeans, and the biggest eyes I ever saw on a child.  For a moment, it didn't register.  I looked away.   Two seconds past and I felt goosebumps began to raise on my arms as the realization that the "friend" he was referring to was this waif-ish young lady walking towards my car... hair blowing in the wind, eyelashes fluttering, bashfully uncomfortable half-smile on her lips.   I kept my composure even though I was thinking to myself, "Oh shhhhnaps! Here we go...", and the next thing I knew, the two of them were climbing into the back seat of the car and he was introducing his "friend".

I was polite.

But as soon as we got home I pulled a move you only see on television.  I excused myself and asked the Pyrate to come with me into the other room for a moment...

"I thought you said your friend..."

"She is my friend, mom." 

"That is no friend. You expect me to believe you don't like her???"

"Mommmm, stop being weird."

"But you can't tell me you don't like her as something other than a friend. I can tell by the look on your face, and that stiff neck posture... and you were carrying her backpack!"

(I was trying my very best to seem cool and hide the humorous adrenaline that was pumping through me...)

"Okay, okay, maybe I like her a little bit.  But she has a boyfriend"

(I exhale...)

"See?  That wasn't so hard.  Don't ever lie to me."

"Yesss, mom."

"Well we'll talk about this later."

That was 8 months ago.  The next week, she and her so called "boyfriend" (whom she only saw at school) broke up, and the Pyrate announced to me that he would ask her to "go out".   To pre-teens, "going out" is what you call "going steady", even though they aren't actually going anywhere!  I asked him...

"Did you ever see her kiss him?"

"No, mom. Eww!"

"How about hold hands."

"I don't know, maybe once."

"Do they actually go anywhere?"

(He rolls his eyes and gives me a rather condescending look.)

"NO mom! It's just a figure of speech. They don't go anywhere."

"So what's the point?  I mean, if I'm going out with someone, we date, we spend time, we might even... well, you know, if it's someone really special..."

"Mommm, stop being weird!  Why do you have to be so weird??"

"I'm sorry, I'm just trying to establish what 'going out' means to a 12 year old."

"It's not that serious mom."

"That depends... I mean... there's no kissing, or making out behind buildings, right?"

"Mom!  We're 12!!!"

"I'm just  making sure because, you are definitely too young for that kind of stuff.  So what exactly does it mean, son, to be going out with a girl. Is it a matter of virtual posession?"

(He pauses, looks up into the corner of the ceiling for an answer... then, with an awkward expression...)

"I don't really know... it's just a thing.  You know... kinda like trying it out... practicing... going through the motions."

"Uh huh... right... so, there's no physical stuff, right?"

 That conversation went on for a good 45 minutes, we talked about the girl's family, and whether or not they would be fine with it.  Turns out that the parents didn't know about the last boyfriend.  FAIL.

"Um... I know you don't think I'm gonna let you go out with a girl and her parents don't know."

(He sighs...)

"All relationships of any sort, should be built upon honesty and openness.  Sneaking around and doing stuff behind her parents back is not okay.  You will not be a part of that.  So  she will have to talk to her mom, and you will have to ask her mother's permission, or I will talk to her mother about it for you.  Otherwise, you will be forbidden to go out.  Furthermore, I'm not at all impressed that she has already been sneaking around at 12, with a boyfriend behind her parents back.  If her parents were to find out while you're going out, they would no doubt immediately ban her from even speaking to you anymore... especially considering her father is a very devout muslim.  Nope.  All must be above board, on the table, full disclosure, just like we do here at home.  That way your friendship with this girl is protected."

"Ok"

"I mean it, son"

"Ok"

"Do you want me to call her mom?  I still have her number from when she picked her up from our house that one time."

"Yes please.  I'm too embarrassed."

"No problem.  I'm not."

We had a refresher course to go over the birds and the bees. (A conversation we'd had already when he was 7 years old, because he is a scientist and already knew a lot from his avid study of the animal kingdom.)  Then a few days later, an addendum to the birds and the bees that included online photos of genitalia inflicted with venereal diseases.   We talked a bit about the psychological effects that growing up without a father in the home has on girls, and their interaction with boys.  We talked about hormonal excess.  We talked about masturbation.  And when I was sure we had a clear and open line of communication, and that this was just some innocent sort of "first love" kind of thing, I let it be.

That was 8 months ago.

Last night, at the dinner table, (gotta love dinnertime conversations in our house), I found out from him that they broke up.

"What??? Why?? When did this happen?? Are you okay?"

(He rolls his eyes.)

"OMG, mom..."

"Stop talking to me in internet abbreviations, son.  What happened? Tell me!"

"IDK"

"Stop that!  What happened?"

"We were hanging out at lunch with friends and she and her friends kept messing with me... pushing me off the table, and stuff.  I got really annoyed and said if she didn't stop I was going to go sit at the other table with my friends."

(I was grinning inside at the preposterous nature of this account, and I do not openly express my relief and pleasure to hear the news...)

"Okaaaay...."

"Anyway, they wouldn't stop so I got up and went to the other table.  She totally freaked out on me and told me that she was sick of me being so stubborn and bossy."

"Whaaat?"

"Yeah.  Can you believe that?  ME bossy!"

(In my head, I thought, yes, son, I can believe that...)

"Whaaat?"

"So I said, 'Fine, I'm sick of you too!'"

"Whaaaaaaat???"

"Yup.  And that was that."

(I sat there puzzled.)

"You broke up over something silly like that??"

"Yes."

"That's it?"

"Yup."

"How can that be???  A week ago, I caught you writing, 'I will love her forever... til I die' on your notebook.  And a week later, you're broken up?  Did you try to make up with her?"

"For what?  I'm fine with it."

"Huh?"

"It's all good!"

"But this happened a week ago and you haven't shown any signs of being upset or anything."

"Mommmm..."

"No, listen, I'm just trying to get to the bottom of the situation and find out where your head is at, because one minute you're all angst-ridden because you luvvv her so much.  The next you've just broken up.  Over nothing in particular, and that's that?  And you're not even upset about it?  How is that possible?"

(He shrugs.)

"Is there more to this than you're telling?"

"She's a pain in the butt mom.  She insists that I sit next to her EVERY day at lunch and nutrition break and sometimes I want to hang with my friends instead of sitting there with her and her girlfriends. But she would throw a fit if I even suggest it.  She was very clingy and controlling.  Even her friends who still talk to me, say they agree that she's very bossy and controlling."

"But you never complained about any of that when I'd ask you for updates..."

(He shrugs)

"And I'm still a little perplexed about the whole 'love her forever... til I die' thing one day and 'it's over and i'm not upset about it' the next.  She's not upset?  You're not upset? This doesn't seem normal."

(He looks at me impatiently with a disapproving scowl on his face.)

"MOM.  I'M Tuh-WELVE!"

Well.  That was the end of that.  He had a point.  The conversation went on from there without much words from me.  The Austrian talked about his preteen years and the girls who dumped him and how the only person he could talk to about such things was his grandmother... who gave him this sage advice:

"There are other mothers with other daughters, Andreas.  Don't you worry."

Now... he seems fine.  Me?  I don't know whether to relax or feel even more concerned because now he's a 'free agent' again in that big stewing brew of hormonal angst, curiosity, and insecurity...

hmphff.... other daughters???

This part of motherhood?  This is the fun stuff right?

Letters To The Pyrate: On Rising With The Sun

 November 11th, Two Thousand and Nine

To: Captain Frohawk Max       

From: Queen of the Butterflies

Dear Captain, Dear Captain, 

The Sun is a-rising in the east in this moment as you wake.  But do not be mistaken!  It rises not of its own doing.  If the Earth stops it's spinning, it would not come!  Likewise, if the lids upon your beautiful orbs do not rise with it, I suspect, your truth will be, that there was no sunrise!   

So, my dear Captain, please do not dawdle!  Make haste with your rising!  Do not contemplate why it must be!  There are oceans to conquer!  Are you listening to me?  

Rise with the sun, my Captain!  Open your eyes!  Stretch your limbs out in every direction and  inhale the air!  Feel it enter you joyfully, then breath! Pull on your britches and raise your sails!   There's a wind blowing, make sure that you catch it!  

As your day begins, my Captain, I am here close by, praying for you!  ...that your plundering finds treasure, that your treasure be knowledge, truth, understanding, compassion, love, joy, and courage.  

Mind not the other sailors out there on that sea!  Dear Captain, trust yourself and the Spirit to be your guides (and me!).  Let no one or nothing distract you!  Not even the hurricane looming on the horizon! The madness of young men and of young women too, who might have good hearts but are misguided on these seas.. 

Some don't have maps at all, my Captain!  Squandering their treasures on frivolous merriment, before their holds are filled, they purchase nonsense and wear tailored garments, but have leaky ships because their shipbuilders were unseasoned craftsmen.  Some have even forgotten why they float on the oceans.  The hurricane will swallow them up while they intoxicate themselves on rum, and women, and games.  Their sailing will be raucous and some will not make it home.  Some will make it, but with empty holds.   The most trifling of all will sink into the darkness of the abyss.  But you, dear Captian, if you focus your sites on your destination and the treasures you will find, that hurricane will not harm you as it passes your way.  

My dear Captain, do not be mislead to believe there will be no sweat.  There will be sweat, enough to sting in your eyes.  There will be tears as well, my Captain, as you ride the waves of these seas, no matter the season.  There will be moments when you will be weeping, afraid and lost or discouraged.  The Spirit (and I) will be here with this beacon!  Just look for it, good Captain, and it will set you straight!  Its light will guide you and all will be well.  

I will leave you with these words as your anchor is raised, in the hopes that you find many treasures this day.  As you sail from this shore, remember I'm here awaiting your return. 

  Dear Captain, when this day ends and you find your way home, I will be hear a-waiting the tales of your journey!  A meal for your belly, a song for your heart, and a place for your slumber when the day is done.   You need not worry about such things now, (but be thankful and joyful for others must do). Instead, my dear Captain, look into the day!  Catch hold of that wind! And now SAIL AWAY!!!

Wishing You a Good Day!

With love, 

Your Mom.